Home » Fashion » Haven’t You Heard? Being a D*ckhead’s Cool!

Remember when it was hip to be a square? Well, now its cool to be a d*ckhead, according to youtube sensations The Grand Spectacular, who are rivalling Huey Lewis and the News for the position of greatest fashion parody pop song ever.

Being a D*ckhead’s Cool” is an internet smash hit by The Grand Spectacular, a band who MIGHT be from London – they are infuriatingly mysterious about themselves on their facebook, twitter and youtube pages – and MIGHT be a group of young men who play eclectic instruments and haven’t written very many songs yet. I have a feeling they also MIGHT be pretty big one day – latest tweet from them: ‘We just got offered Glastonbury Hahahahhahaha’

In any case, the hit record, uploaded to youtube a few months ago and available to buy on itunes, is a brilliant tune in its own right – but it also has a wee bit of a dig at hipsters, the unfortunate hate figures de jour.

I was saddened to discover when I watched the video this week that I had missed the opportunity to attend their latest gig: a ‘Being a D*ckhead’s Cool’ party. Instructions were to dress in fancy dress as – you’ve guessed it – a ‘d*ckhead’. This was my favourite comment on the post:

‘So…we are supposed to dress ironically as people who dress ironically?’

Yes, that would indeed be quite a challenge. I wish I could have been there to see the results.

If you haven’t encountered the hipster phenomenon (where have you been?) then you can get educated pretty quickly by browsing through youtube, but these pictures might give you a hint – “Oh yeah!” you may be thinking, “I know them. There’s usually a bunch of them smoking rollies outside my local pub…”

Yes. They are everywhere. But if you know a hipster, or indeed if you ARE a hipster, don’t be frightened or disheartened. They need not be reviled. The battle between hipsters and normos has been quietly raging for a while now, fuelled by angry sites like Hackney Hipster Hate and LATFH.

But The Grand Spectacular have taken the meme beyond the petty, dissing stage and on to a new level, by celebrating and glorying in the delicious absurdity of the hipster trend, much like Huey Lewis and the News did for the yuppies back in the eighties. And it IS a trend – an ‘anti-trend’ trend. The irony keeps piling up…

So, if you want to dress as a hipster, (or a d*ckhead,) ironically OR genuinely, here are my tips on how to get the look.

Step 1

First, go on a diet. It doesn’t matter how slim you are, a hipster can never be skinny enough.

Step 2

Secondly, go into your local charity shop, close your eyes, grab five items of clothing. Buy them, (without frightening the cashier – you can open your eyes at this point), get them home and put them on, no matter what they are. Use your ingenuity if need be. Remember, if you are a hipster, WHATEVER you wear is cool – your natural style will see you through. Trend is your enemy!

Step 3

Then, visit your parents’ house and dig through a box of your old childhood toys. Pick out three small objects (Rubic’s cube, Star Wars figurine, a bit of Lego…) Attach these to your person in some way (key ring, necklace, phone jewellery, brooch – get creative!) On your way out, nick your mum’s most tasteless winter coat. You will need that to keep you warm on your way home from raves on those cold early mornings.

Step 4

Now find some rub on tattoos – any kind will do. A cartoon character is as good as a sailor tat. Apply them liberally, to places that show. Then dye your hair, grow a beard, get a side parting, or all of the above.

Step 5

Finally, accessorise with some geeky thick-rimmed glasses.

And…you’re done!

All jokes aside – I can’t wait to give the d*ckhead style a try. It all just looks like so much fun!

For further instructions, see the lyrics and video below.

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Being a D*ckhead’s Cool – Lyrics

By The Grand Spectacular

 

Verse:

Got on the train from Cambridgeshire

Moved down to an East London flat

Got a moustache and a low cut vest

Some purple leggings

And a sailor tat

Just one gear on my fixie bike

Got a plus one here for my gig tonight

I play synth…

We all play synth…

20-20 vision just a pair of empty frames

Dressing like a nerd although i never got the grades

I remember when the kids at school would call me names

Now were taking over their estates

Woah ho

Chorus:

I love my life as a d*ckhead

All my friends are d*ckheads too

Come with me lets be d*ckheads

(Havent you heard?)

Being a d*ckhead’s cool

Being a d*ckhead’s cool

Being a d*ckhead’s cool

Being a d*ckhead’s cool cool cooooool

Verse:

Polaroid app on my iphone

Taking pictures on London Fields

Up on the blog so everyone knows

We’re having new age fun, with a vintage feel

Coolest kids at a warehouse rave

Exclusive list look there’s my name

I got in…

You couldn’t get in…

Never bought a pack of fags i only roll my own

Plugging in my laptop at the Starbucks down the road

Say I work in media I’m really on the dole

I’m the coolest guy you’ll ever know

Woah ho

Chorus

Bridge:

Loafers with no socks

Electro-pop meets southern hip hop

Indeterminate sexual preference

Something retro on my necklace

Chorus

WRITTEN BY
View More Posts By Natalie Gowans

3 thoughts on “Haven’t You Heard? Being a D*ckhead’s Cool!

  1. This is phenomenal!

    March 29, 2011 at 3:30 pm
  2. Jenkins

    lol the song is hilarious. i wouldn’t mind trying this style at a costume party!

    March 29, 2011 at 5:16 pm
  3. […] Haven’t You Heard? Being a D*ckhead’s Cool! […]

    June 1, 2011 at 11:22 am

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